I have been able to eat rice and boiled potatoes since Monday

which is a big accomplishment!

I would sit quietly and munch on a potato, sampe rada eneg sih but it gives me energy I suppose

So, it started with Monday morning after breakfast, I went back to sleep as usual because of the nausea

and then, when I woke up, I immediately felt something was different

my headache was gone! I thought.. could it be?

I woke up so slowly as if I would scare the non-headache-feeling and move oh so slowly that day just because i was so scared the headache would be back

I had 1-2 occasions in the past when i was strong for a few hours just to everything lapsed back in the most disastrous way

so i was very very nervous

plus happy too, thinking, wow this is how it feels not to be sick! i have forgotten, it was such a long time ago!

but i was happy and cautious

monday turned out to be very good

tuesday was also good, but after around 3 pm, the old dizziness was back and i was down again

wednesday was good, and the dizziness went back only at around 5 pm and off i went again to bed

how to describe ya, the dizziness maybe feels like i was being hung upside down?

if you put your palm on top of your head, that palm area, that's where the pain points are

nggeliyeng gitu, ruangan rasanya muter and very very hard to keep food in

i usually have to lie down in the dark, trying my best to calm myself and think of happy thoughts - which usually revolve around family and home

in good days it works, some days it's then another visit to the restroom.. ahem.

anyhoo, today i went back online to work a bit

was not easy, was not used to wearing glasses, seeing a computer screen and moving things (scrolling up and down is not my friend.. arrghhh) as a result, i had to lie down for a good chunk of the day again today

sigh.. but i managed to finish 1 simple thing for the monthly review.. so one step at a time i guess

my manager said HR told him i had to call the company doctor for an appointment, because i have been out on sick leave for a few weeks and turns out it's a policy to meet the doctor

the funny thing is that i have to meet her at work, she comes in on certain days

..

this i find rather odd

i dont mind sih going to the office to meet her

anyway i was already thinking of trying to go to work in the next days, maybe to try a few hours first

but i didnt want to promise anything / pressure myself

because i tend to panic when i have to go somewhere (like when i had to go to the midwife and city-hall appointment),

worrying will i feel strong enough or will it be one of those vom*ting episodes *shiver*

i always feel so crappy after every episodes, i am so scared just thinking of the probability for them to happen

and now, i actually have an appointment to go on monday.. fingers crossed i can go.

if not, i will just cancel sih, not to risk it. but i made the app anyway - in case i can go

still think this is a rather strange procedure, if someone is really really sick to go to work, how could they go to the office to meet the doctor? why wont the doctor just come and visit you at home?

ok maybe if you are not well enough you won't make an appointment and wait

but then if i am well enough to make an appointment, then im cured kan and why would i need to go still?

.. enough of the random thought

i better get some rest now, i can start smelling bau masakan

papa ndut is cooking now and i better hide before the smell ignites the headache again

i just want to report that things are looking brighter and i hope it continues

supaya baby ndut is also healthy and stronger every day

i have been talking to him / her kadang-kadang, cuma ngejelasin what am i doing, what am i eating now

hehe.. very simple sih, but i thought maybe it will make baby ndut happy

till next time!